Nordics plus Livonia equals
by Hadesumaru
Summary: Total catastrophe. Livonia spends her vacations at Nordics' place, so it obviously can't end well. Awkard situations, beating Denmark up, piercing gazes, killing meals, Santa Claus, vodka, fjords... What else do we have here? Let's take a look. Warning - possible grammatical errors -english is not my first language. Present: Nordics, Sealand, territories, Baltics, Prussia (...)


_"Krissy~"_

_"No."_

_"Krissy~"_

_"No."_

_"But Krissy-"_

_"NO."_

_"Buuuuut-"_

_"NO, means NO, Gilbert, I'm not going anywhere with you."_

_"But you owe me a favor, don't you? I helped you to get Raivis out of that dumpster, right?"Gilbert snickered, knowing, that Krista won't refuse him for sure, after hearing that. Given her personality, she'd never agree, but remembering, that she owes him one, she's got no other choice. After all... She hates having debts._

_"Gil... you were the one, who put him there..."_

_Oh, crap._

_"Buuut I got him outta there, didn't I?"_

_"Even so, minus and plus still equalls minus, on your account of course... Wait, what did I just say...? Uuugh, Vasch was always better at maths... Minus and plus equalls minus, but only in multiplication, right?" she muttered more to herself, than to him._

_Gilbert sighed. Bored to death by Krista's absent-minded companion, he plopped himself on the coach, while she still occupied armchair on the left. Usually they do something fun together, like playing video games, cooking, watching TV, or some movies, but today was different. Today, to celebrate finish of month-long World Meeting, Alfred was throwing a party. Gilbert as a proclaimed 'party-animal' was of course going, but Krista was another story... _

_She never really liked parties, nor company of other countries. She preffered staying at home, than dancing, socialising, getting drunk and hangover next morning. And Krista being Krista could easily explain why, she didn't like parties, especially those in Alfred's style. Her taste in music was entirely different - for example, she never really liked pop-music, her favorite bands were mostly scandinavian hard rock or metal ones, and as for light tunes, she prefered gentle sound of guitar or piano, instead of plastic-sounding-pop-songs, as she liked to say. Other than that, Krista didn't exactly liked foods on parties. Sure, she could eat chips once in a while, but being a great cook as she was, she couldn't, honestly, look calm at pizza made by some grumpy old man from bar in neighborhood, bought, because of low prices - probably recommended by Switzerland._

_"Ha! I know! You've got clean account know, as in addition minus and plus equalls zero!"_

_"Wow..." he rolled his eyes. "That's great, Einstein, but you didn't discover America, y'know?"_

_"Well, duh, of course, Columbus did... he did, right?"_

_"..."_

_Awkard silence._

_Krista scratched back of her neck, blushing from embarassment. She was never really sure about her knowlendge. Being old country should make her more respectable, but it didn't, unfortunately. Heck, she was older than Gilbert, but only made fool of herself._

_"Well..." he began._

_Krista slowly tilted her head and raised an eyebrow, curious, what he was going to say. She hoped, he didn't want to make fun of her. Either way, she'd have to hammer some respect into his head, traditionally using bare fists. One skill she was really proud of - next to reading and writing._

_"You're going to the party with the Awesome Me, I won't ask anymore~! Kesesese~!"_

_"Wait, what?! I never agreed!"_

_"So what?"_

_"I'm free and independent woman!"_

_"Well, first thing means, that I don't have to bribe you - AWESOME~! And second... Really? Looking at how you're keen on cooking, I'd say something different, but..." he never finished the sentence, as he was hit with U.F.C.T. - Unidentified Flying Coffee Table._

_That's, dear children, how insulting feminist ends._

_And they lived happily everafter, the end._

"Denmark, what the hell did you just read?" asked Norway, deadpanned.

His expression almost same as Sweden's, with one exception. Berwald was more glaring, than staring. For the first time in forever (FROOOZEN~!), they switched roles. It was time for Lukas, to stare intimidiately at Mathias, while he was happily wobbling on a chair, Aland Islands, Greenland, Faroe, Ladonia and Sealand at his feet.

"But... did she come on the party with him, in the end? Liva, I mean..." asked Erland, frowning.

"Right, right!" agrees Sealand, nodding his head. "Is it said in book?"

"That's not a book, it's Latvia's-" began explaining, Lukas, but Mathias quickly interjected him.

"Of course, she went with him, after all, she couldn't resist his awesomness~!" the Dane exclaimed, throwing his hands in the air and dropping the book at the same time.

"So he's more awesome, than you, duh? Old prick?" Faroe snickered, pointing Denmark with obvious satisfaction.

"Whaaaat?!" Mathias shouted sounding offended. "I'm definitely more awesome~!"

"What about Prussia?" asked Peter curiously.

"Well..." Denmark's exclaim dropped. He blinked and rested chin on his palm, thinking intensively. Norway struggled refraining from remark, about them hearing how his little brain is working. "He's awesome too... but I'm awesomer!"

"Eh? But aunt Kris chose him in last 'Awesome contest'..." Greenland noted, scratching her nose. "She said, that hell will freeze over, if she ever chooses you..."

"But I AM, the king of Northern Europe! Besides, Gilbert doesn't even exist anymore..." the last part he said just below the whisper, so kids won't hear him. But Norway did and soon, empty cup of coffee was flying onto his head. Thankfully to years of training, Mathias skillfully dodged it.

"Well, ironically, you're southernmost one~!" Faroe snorted, making all of them, except Sealand and Sweden, laugh a little. Denmark blushed slightly in embarrassment.

"Do I have to remind you, that I'm the ONE, who owns you, Astrid? And besides, it means nothing to being the KING~!"

"How so?" Ladonia's brows furrowed.

"Even little brother is further to the north, than you" Norway said, crossing arms over his chest.

"It's age, that counts, Norge~! And you forgot one important thing~!"

"That is?"

"I've got Pipaluk with me~!" he exclaimed, throwing himself on a poor Greenland, nuzzling his cheek to hers. "She's my precious land, after all, whiiiich... makes me King of the north~! So she's the queen!" he nodded, pleased with his final conclusion.

"Oi! Old prick, you're strangling her!" Faroe shouted, prying his arms of her 'sister'. "The eldest, huh? Looking at you, it's hard to tell."

"Thank you~!"

"As I said, OLD PRICK. NOW, it suits you even more."

Norway rolled his eyes, remaining with deadpan expression.

"Depending on your territory, huh? You can't do anything yourself?" he snorted sarcastically. "At least I'm fighting fair and square."

"Hoo? Did I hear 'fight' from your mouth, Norge? Y'know, I won't give out my tittle so easily!"

"Annoying..." Norway gritted his teeth.

And so, they began to fight, while kids started betting their pocket money, Ladonia collecting it like a real bookie. Sweden could only sigh, observe and wait till situation gets critical state, so he'd separate two nations.

It seemed, that everything went back to square one. After all, it all began with quarrel about God-knows-what, between obviously Denmark and Norway. They took their fight to the living room, where Sweden and children resided, waiting for Finland to come back from shopping. They were evidently bored, as Berwald didn't really know, how to take care of them. Somehow, Mathias ended up finding Latvia's diary beneath sofa's cushions.

Suddenly, Krista appeared on the doorstep, with red jacket hanging on right arm and weary expression on her face. Seeing nordics and Sealand in the living room only made her more tired.

"Hi kids, hi Norra... and Sweden." she greeted, rolling her jacket into a ball and launching it straight onto Denmark's head.

"Oi! What about me?!"

Her appearance almost immediatly began resembling grumpy cat's.

"In my ideal world, you do not exist, never existed, nor you will ever exist" she hissed and gave Norway a high-five. "What's up? I'm only guessing, that cushions on the floor or Tino's favorite vase broken, aren't part of room's design... Am I right or am I right?"

"Tino's what..." Sweden began, but was quickly cut off by Faroe's loud question.

"Auntie! Can you tell me, who's real king of the north?"

She answered in quick, two second, shocking everyone in the room.

"Canada."

Which leaded to immediate question: "WHO?" from Nordics side and surprised: "Uncle?!" from Sealand's mouth. Krista blinked and scratched her neck, mouthing silent "What" under her breath.

"Did I say something wrong? Well, I guess, that Russia's also kinda king of the north, isn't he?" she thought aloud.

Denmark hid in the corner, surrounded by depressed aura, he even started tottering back and forth as if having hospitalism. Livonia facepalmed along with Norway, at his behaviour.

"I'm done..." she sighed. "I'll make some food, want anything?"

She didn't really have to ask, after all, she was surrounded by Nordics (+Sealand), what can you expect? Well, one word: FISH. Of course prepared differently, depending on taste buds of each person. Though Greenland was willing to withdraw and agree with majority.

Soon, her ears were filled with requests and her eardrums were screaming for Heavens' help. Nordics are usually loud and lively, but today she was just tired and only wanted to go to bed (GO TO SLEEP - said Jeff the Killer stepping out of the wardrobe... Wait, wardrobe in the living room?).

"Okay, okay... I got it, but, just so you know and remember, the fact, that I like to cook, doesn't mean, that I belong in kitchen" she muttered, sweatdropping.

"Oooh, so you're still angry with Prussia, Liva?" asked Sealand. He never bothered using any honorfics, while talking to her, not because he didn't respect her, but she simply let him. And, after all, that's how she introduced herself to him - Liva Libietis.

"And there's another question." Ladonia noted and Faroe nodded to this.

"What question?" Livonia raised an eyebrow, leaning to pick up her jacket and pat Denmark's back. She stubbornly avoided Sweden's piercing gaze, as he pretended to be reading a book (which he held upsidedown, by the way).

"Did you went on a party with Mr. Prussia?" asked Greenland, quietly, blushing slightly.

Livonia blinked, she then scowled.

"How do you know about that stupid episode?"

Faroe lifted Latvia's diary triumphantly. As Krista noticed book in Astrid's hand, she began shaking violently and it was like flames surrounded her, heating up room's temperature.

"WHERE DID YOU GET THAT?!"

Astrid gulped and authomatically pointed Denmark. Mathias was to caught up in sulking, to see, angry Livonian female approaching him with more than bad motives. Suddenly, she was yanked by a collar of her white t-shirt.

"Can I join you?"

Denmark's head shot up immediately, as he heard Norway's cold voice, which could mean only one thing. Weirdly, he caught a glimpse of Faroe waving at him with smirk. Mathias gulped.

"Oh, hey Norge, Livy, need something?"

"Your head above my fireplace." Livonia hissed, as her fists' bones began cracking. _"I AM THE ONLY ONE ALLOWED TO READ RAIVIS' DIARY!" _her mind screamed.

Well, Norway did this for fun and to show Denmark, who was the real king of north.

But we all know, who that person is in real.

_CANADA!_

**WHO?**

... I meant Santa Claus, but... okay, I guess, whoever are you talking about.

Anyways, while Lukas and Krista were beating Mathias up, Peter picked up the fatal diary and examined it. After concluding, that Raivis uses too flowery language for him to understand, he passed book to Erland, who gave it to Astrid - she panicked, that Krista might hurt her, so she quickly threw it on Pipaluk. Alan who kept silent throughout the whole scene, handed the diary to Berwald.

"Can you read it to us, daddy?" Sealand asked him, using his secret weapon - puppy eyes.

Of course, Sweden just couldn't turn him down.

And obviously, it won't end well. At least for Berwald. AND Denmark of course. After all, beating him is funny. Why do you think, Norway does it so often?


End file.
